I’ve been reading the stories of so many people who didn’t report what has happen to them. I can related to their shame, guilt and lack of trust that someone will believe them. What hurts me the most is that people who didn’t go through this feels like they know what you should have done at that moment. But at that moment you are afraid, and there is no telling what you were told by the predator to increase your fear.
It took me at the age of 33 years old to tell someone what had happen to me. I was molested at an early age. And the shame that I felt was great. If I told someone would they believe me? What would happen to this person? I hated this person more than life itself. I was just a kid, I couldn’t defend myself. I was told if I told no one would believe me. So I kept that with me, feeling that I would be blamed. But how do you blame a child? All I knew is what was happening to me wasn’t right. I cried a lot and blamed myself a lot. I have told others of my story and I know that I’m not alone in this fight to help and heal others.
I wish people would stop acting like women/kids bring this upon themselves, because they don’t. If it was easy to tell someone trust me I would have a long time ago. But it’s not. I wish that people would have more compassion for the victims. Honestly it took me years to heal from this pain, guilt and hate that I had for this person. I’m in a better space and at the end of the day the person who molested me will have to answer to God for what they did to me. It took me years to forgive them, I even told them that I forgave them. I wish there were ways to truly understand what someone is going through if you never dealt with it before.
It’s not an easy conversation to have with anyone. And I’m glad that the people who do know my story have shown me nothing but compassion, trust and love. I pray that everyone who has gone through something like this will find people who will listen, love and be their for you.