Grief:

This is the first time that I have experienced grief at this level. I have lost people who I have loved before, but the passing of my grandfather is hard. When I found out that my grandfather passed away I promise it felt like I couldn’t breathe, my heart-felt like it was about to explode. Never in my life has grief ever hit me this hard. I don’t know how to release this grief. I have cried but the pain is still there. I have always been the strong one, so when someone has died I have always been there to comfort them and help them in any way possible. But for me I wanna check out of reality and not even think about it. I want one more phone call, one more hug, just one more. And I won’t ever have just one more with my grandpa. How do you make sense of all of this? I’m in shock, denial and just plain in pain. I know that people deal with grief differently, but right now I don’t know how to grieve for real. Please keep me in prayer, grief is hard, painful and just plain hurtful.