Parents have no idea how divorce affects children. I didn’t show my feelings about my parents divorce. To be quite honest I didn’t know anything about it. And to be quite honest I didn’t understand divorce. The toll it took on me had me questioning everything. I wonder would I see my dad. And if so how often. I wondered why my mom talked bad about my dad. I wondered was I still loved. There was so many questions going through my mind. But at 7 years old how do you understand these problems?
As I grew up I had more questions then answers. I didn’t want to ask my parents because I didn’t want to open up old wounds. So when I was 16 years old I spent the summer with my dad, and I felt like this would be the best time to get some of my questions answered. The truth I received from my dad was mind blowing and raw. I had heard so many rumors about the marriage, separation and final divorce that I didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t. Before I had left for the summer to be with my dad. I asked the same questions to my mom. Her emotions and answers were raw and truthful. To see the hurt and pain in her eyes was unbearable. But I needed to know these things. So when I asked my dad he asked me had I talked to my mom about this yet. I told him I had. He was like okay what do you want to know. So I asked my questions and pretty much got the same answers. But what I wasn’t expecting was the pain in my dads voice.
One thing that I didn’t realize was how much my parents didn’t want me to be affected by their divorce. They didn’t want me to feel unloved or to blame myself. The pain that both my parents felt over there divorce was something I never thought that they would show me, let alone share with me. If I could go back in time I would want my parents to talk to me about the divorce and let me express my feelings then. It’s important that parents really have a conversation with their children. You have no idea how it affects the children. Divorce is not an easy thing for adults, but divorce really isn’t easy for the child either.
Parents this conversation is really needed. Now that I know the truth I don’t see my parents any differently. They will always be my parents. We all make decisions that we feel is best. I don’t blame my parents for their divorce. Now that I’m an adult I understand why they divorced better now. Parents let’s have the conversation with your kids.