Stronger:

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You never know how strong you are until you have to be. I felt like everything within me was giving up. It was the worse pain that I have ever felt, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. Maybe I didn’t want to deal with it. Maybe, I thought it would go away on its own if I didn’t acknowledge the pain within me. But I had to, I’ve dealt with this storm to many times from too many people. And yet when the same storm from a different person, came I couldn’t handle it. It hurt too much to handle, it. Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I not feel good enough? But God whispered something so powerful to me. He said you are enough. I had forgiven this person but the pain was way more than I knew how to bare. What do you do next? I prayed and cried and prayed and cried. And then it hit me that the person that caused me the pain was in pain also. I had to look at the situation and understand that the enemy will try to knock you down at all costs. I was going to be alright I just had to understand that how I see the situation isn’t how the situation is. I had to learn true forgiveness at that moment and also that people deal with things that we just don’t know about. When you going through situations it might be easy for the person who has never struggled or dealt with it to give you all kinds of suggestions. But if you have never been in that situation, it’s also easy to condemn that person as well. We all deal with things, whether it’s in secret or not. I had to put myself in that person’s shoes and ask myself what, would I want someone to do for me? Sometimes you have to love someone through their issues. Giving up is always easy but staying is hard.

Book review:

At first I didn’t understand what the book was about. But then the characters and the background history started to come together. It’s a long book and it takes awhile to get to the point sometimes. I feel like this book is very relatable. In the end not a bad book just long.

Something real: Poem

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You have my heart so treat it right
You only get it for one night
They say love is patient love is kind
You need to take care of this heart of mine
What more do I have to do
To get you to love me too
What do they have that I lack
Is it beauty is it lust
I gave you my heart, but we lack trust
What more can I do
I told you how much I love you
I show you on a daily, but maybe
You need more than I can give
You have my heart but now you give
My reason to just wonder what I have been missing
All I want is true love, that’s all I seek
Another broken heart, how long will it heal
Just another women wanting something real

Letting love in:

I almost forgot what it was like to let myself go and let someone love me. I don’t like getting to close to people in fear of getting hurt. But when someone hurts me I start to close up. But I had to remember we all need grace when things happen. Just because someone hurt me doesn’t mean that it was intentional. I have learned to release the hurt that others have put on me and enjoy life. I was pushing so many people away because of what others had done. But I have stopped and let love come my way. I’m tired of being held back by past hurts. I’m letting love guide me for now on. I’m letting others show me, love, in ways I never knew that I needed. I have been feeling so much love lately that I’m running over. I love this feeling. And yes I know that love is a feeling but this feeling I don’t want to ever go away. I feel like my life is on the right path.

My book:

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I’m learning that writing is a marathon and not a sprint. I love all the feedback that I have gotten from my book so far. One thing that I didn’t realize is that people want more. They can tell where I was holding back and they want me to not hold back in this book. They also want more information about things. I’m happy with all the feedback and I didn’t expect people to want more from this book. I see now that I’m going to have to go deeper and open up more. For anyone who has ever written a book, what I thought was easy is not. For all the authors out there I have nothing but respect for you when it comes to writing. I may not like every book that I read but I know when an author was genuine about there story and when they are not. Like I said I thought that I had a date where I wanted everything completed, but I’m going to go with the flow and not rush. It’s a marathon and not a sprint. It took a friend of mines three years to get her book out. So I’m going to take my time and write this book.

Love:

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My heart is so full and overflowing with love. My anniversary weekend has been so special and amazing. This has got to be my favorite and best anniversary. Thank you for all the love that was shown to me for our anniversary. Some of you know my story about my marriage. And getting to the place that I’m at today hasn’t been easy. But with God all things are possible. I’m learning that if you never go through anything hard you will never appreciate what you have. If everything has been easy maybe something isn’t right. I’m learning to enjoy each moment no matter how hard it is. I’m learning to love even when I don’t want to. I’m learning to say I’m sorry more. Marriage is a lot of work but it’s also teamwork. If you never let your spouse know how you feel or if there is a problem then you can’t expect things to get better. My love tank is overflowing with love right now. Even though we are in a pandemic this anniversary was awesome. I pray that my husband and I continue to grow and work on us.

Happy Anniversary:

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10 years ago my husband changed my last name. I can tell you that my wedding day was magical. The way my husband looked at me as I was walking down the aisle. I saw love and beauty written on his face. I saw my future with him and so much more. It hasn’t always been easy and we have overcome many obstacles. But one thing I can say is that we never gave up on one another. We may not be a perfect couple but we are perfect for one another. We may have not started off strong but we are stronger than ever. 10 years down and a lifetime to go. I thank God for this union and all the lessons that it has taught me. Happy Anniversary.

Book review:

Whoa this book is what we all need. I love the personal stories as well as the activities in each chapter. This book is definitely needed right now. I have learned a lot and started working on some of the activities without a group. This is a must read. Truly enjoyed this book.